Birds

Birds
6-25-2011

Ever since I saw Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” in seventh grade, I have been uncomfortable around birds. When I was in high school, my personal trepidation towards birds was heightened one day when I was out jogging. It was summer in Arkansas, which meant it was extremely hot. In order to beat the heat, I decided to wake up and hit the pavement early. For years, I had been running the same route.

I would start at the trim gym in Jonesboro and run near the highway on an access road. During the run, there is a slight incline that leads to the crest of a hill. At this point in the run, there was brush with a few trees on each side of the access road. This particular run was an out and back, meaning you run to a certain point and then return along the same path to where the run initially started.  The entire run was just over three miles.

Anyway, on the morning I went for this run, I had a terrible run in with some birds. By the time I reached the point on the access road where the hill began, the sun was coming up and I could hear birds chirping all around me. Until that point, I had never had a bad experience with birds, so I didn’t think much of this.

As I continued up the hill, I noticed a few black birds flying around. These weren’t like any blackbirds I have ever seen before. They had bright red breasts and they were very aggressive. When I was about halfway up the hill, I noticed a shadow on the ground in front of me—it began to grow larger and larger. As soon as I realized what the shadow might be, I turned around to look.


The bird nearly took my head off. Luckily, I was able to dart out of the way. The bird continued to pursue me. For about another 100 yards, the birds would take turns taking swipes at my head. Finally, at the top of the hill, the birds retreated to the brush. I had survived. The only problem was that I knew I had to face the birds again when I ran back down the hill.

Sure enough, on my way back, the birds welcomed me with same ferociousness. By the time I returned to my car, I knew I could never look at birds the same way again. Later that afternoon, I had lunch with one my best friends. Wesley Suitt and I had grown up in the same neighborhood. We got into and caused our fair share of trouble.

At lunch, I told him the story. He didn’t believe me. I pleaded with him that we needed to take action to curb the imminent threat of the birds to our community. Finally, he agreed to go out there with me to take care of the birds. He didn’t come with me because he believed anything in the story, but because it was an Arkansas summer and we were board out of our minds. Regardless of why he came, I’m glad he did because I don’t think I could have made the trip alone.

So that afternoon Wes and I grabbed two baseball bats and jumped in my car. We decided to park at the top of the hill and walk down to where the birds were at earlier that morning. It was about a 300 yard walk. I will never forget how hot it was that day. It was one of those days where it seemed like soles of your shoes were sure to melt from walking on the asphalt.

As we walked down the hill, I tried to convey to Wes the dangers of what was ahead. He thought I was exaggerating. After much anticipation, we reached the spot where I was viciously attacked only hours before. Of course, there were no birds anywhere; not even the slightest chirping. We waited for about five minutes, but there were still no birds. Finally, the 100 degree heat was too much, and we decided to return to the car. About the time we turned around, we noticed a white car approaching us. I realized that the white car was a state trooper. Just down the road, there was a state troopers headquarters for the NEA region. I looked at Wes and said “this should be good.”

Right after I said that, the state trooper flew by us. We turned and looked over our shoulders and his car had come to a stop. His lights soon flicked on and he put the car in reverse. I guess two kids carrying baseball bats walking in the middle of nowhere seemed suspicious to him. I tried to explain the story to him about what happened previously that morning and why we were carrying baseball bats. Like Wes, the state trooper didn’t believe me. He suggested we head back to our car; we followed his instructions.

For the rest of the summer, I was terrorized by these birds. Up until that point, that route had been my favorite place to run; however, I now was afraid to run on it. Eventually, I realized that during the day, it was too hot for the birds to be out. As a result, I would only run that route during heat of the day. On a couple of occasions, I would start a bit too early or wait a little late in the afternoon, and on these trips, I would hear the ominous chirping coming from the brush. I shared my story with everyone about the birds. Not many believed me.

So, there are a lot of birds in Sydney. Since I have been here, I have had some bad experiences. The second weekend I was here, I decided to go to a coffee shop to access the internet. The coffee shop is located in the suburb of Crows Nest (That probably should have been my first hint). Right next to the coffee shop, there is a little park and places to sit for outside dining. When I was walking up to the coffee shop I noticed tons of crows around the place. They would wait until someone left a table with food on it and swoop in to grab what they could. Because I needed to use my computer and I noticed the crows, I decided to sit inside.

I sat near a glass window. Ever since, that first run in with birds in Jonesboro, I have always jump when I see shadows. Because I was sitting near the window, I was already slightly unnerved because I would see shadows racing by and would forget that the birds were outside. Right after I got my coffee and began working on my computer, I noticed another shadow coming towards me.

Some say that time seems to slow down when your body has to react quickly. Well in this instance, I felt like life was in slow motion. When I noticed the shadow, I immediately looked up and I saw a crow heading straight for me. I ducked and the crow bounced off of my left shoulder. I was terrified. The guy making the coffee asked if I was okay. I said yes, but there was still a problem. The bird remained in the coffee shop. The bird saw the window and couldn’t figure out how to escape. It was trapped, terrified, and fluttering all over the place. The coffee guy eventually went and picked the bird up. He was braver than me. He later told me he saw the whole thing and that the crow was definitely going straight for my jugular. I believed him: I felt lucky to be alive that day.

Last week, I went to the campus of the University of Sydney to meet with the dean of law school. After meeting with her, I took a walk around the campus. It is a beautiful campus. The campus is right outside the city and has a beautiful view of the downtown skyline. The campus is very unique, as it has a wonderful mix of stunning old buildings and innovative new designs. By the time I had walked around the campus, it was nearly noon, so I decided that I would just eat in an open area by the Main Quadrangle, the most historic building on campus. I found a bench and pulled out my peanut butter and jelly. I was excited about lunch. I love a good pb&j. I had a few apple cinnamon rice cakes to go with it.

When I was about halfway finished, I again saw the tell-tale sign. I turned around and I noticed a bird-like animal approaching me. This thing was scary. It was a type of hybrid mix between what looked to be a rooster and a velociraptor.

I quickly got up and faced my adversary. My actions did not break its gaze, which was locked onto my pb&j in my right hand. He plopped down on the bench and continued towards me. Beside the bird were my apple cinnamon rice cakes, but the bird had yet to notice the cakes. I had a choice to make. I could leave the cakes in hope that they might check the birds appetite or I could go after the cakes.

This was an easy choice. Despite the risk, I knew I had to grab the cakes. Because everything is so expensive in Sydney, you learn that you can’t afford to waste anything. I ran in and grabbed the cakes. Knowing that it missed some easy food, the bird became increasingly frustrated and determined to get what was left of my lunch.  After that, I began to retreat only to find two more birds approaching from my rear. Once I saw this, I knew additional action was needed.

As a group of Chinese exchange students looked on, I gave my best effort to take this additional action. I began to rapidly eat my sandwich and avoid the birds. The birds realized my plan and knew they needed to move more quickly. I wanted to run, but I had left my backpack on the bench. I had to get it, but I knew it wasn’t safe to return until the sandwich was finished.

The faster I ate the faster they approached. Here I was out in the middle of one of the most famous places in Sydney in a coat and tie trying to dodge these birds. I would take a bite and move a few feet, which would provide me enough time to take another bite. I felt like a bullfighter trying to dodge a Toro Bravo.

The birds would make a pass, and I would step away at just the last second to avoid it. Finally, I was able to finish the sandwich and the cakes. As soon as I finished, the birds gave up.

Throughout it all, the Chinese exchange students were pointing and laughing. I’m happy I had the chance to provide the afternoon entertainment for the University of Sydney.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svKdgMo5Ox8&feature=related

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Sydney

http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://www.howardsview.com/!BirdWebpageIndex/WhiteIbisJul10-02.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.howardsview.com/!BirdWebpageIndex/BirdWebpageIndex.html&usg=__U5HHPFIOcpGAlfVRcE5m9Mf2H4g=&h=600&w=739&sz=69&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=N2bPmuBtguybfM:&tbnh=127&tbnw=150&ei=GX8FTtGKLMXXmAXpt4HBDQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3DPhotos%2Bof%2BIbis%2Bbirds%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DEY2%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D546%26tbm%3Disch%26prmd%3Divns&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=459&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0&tx=38&ty=59&biw=1366&bih=546